notes I took Sunday about confidence

[novapsyche]

2:10 p.m.

Your confidence affects your ability to learn. If you have confidence in yourself, you are more likely to go after what you want.

3:05 p.m.

You've got to believe in yourself. If you don't believe in yourself, how else can reality manifest about you?

***

How would you describe confidence?

Comments

[sarahmichigan.livejournal.com]

I agree with what simianpower is saying about confidence being built by setting goals and acheiving them. I think "self-esteem" that is based on parents and teachers patting you on the back and telling you how great you are is next to worthless. A kid instinctually knows when he's being bullshitted, and that he hasn't done anything all that praise-worthy.

Confidence is built on knowing what your limits and strengths, capitalizing on your strengths, and gradually improving your weak areas.

There's also the idea of "fake it until you make it." Research shows that if you fake a smile or a laugh, you're very likely to genuinely start to feel happier. If you fake confidence (although not in a ludicrous way such as bullshitting your way through something that's truly over your head, and not to the point of being arrogant or cocky) long enough, eventually, you will begin to gain some.

[simianpower.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the parent/teacher point is well-made. My dad always used to tell me how smart I was and how I should be getting all A's in high school, and I always used to wonder who it was he was trying to convince. It wasn't until I started to do the things that *I* chose (rather than things chosen FOR me) that I started to get confidence. It would seem that my dad was right, but him constantly saying it made it sound like he was trying to make himself believe it and "wish it" into being true. Sure, it's better than being told you're in idiot all the time, but people really have to form their own self-images rather than being spoon-fed one.