Spiritual Journal, 11/3/01
Nov. 1st, 2001 09:17 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
novapsyche8:15 a.m.
Let me write this down now, before I forget. I remembered a way of looking at the world, much as Neo did after his 'resurrection': except the world for me was kind of orange, not green (different VAX colors?). But it did seem like I could "see" the physical contours of the room without having my eyes open. I knew I was entering a deep trance; but I was able to keep talking through it. From [when I recorded] my memories of the ear piercing and the Kool-Aid (which is the more significant one, I'd say), I was in that trance. I can hear the random sounds and see the mental images in my head, and remember how they came to be known as words to me, or 'memories', as the case may be.
The Kool-Aid incident. I couldn't have been more than four years old. I remember thinking about a self-referential thought. Some part of me knew that if I concentrated on this thought, that it would be dangerous (caught in a thought loop). But it managed to loop several times, me working through each of those first reiterations laboriously, like any unsuspecting four-year-old would. Then I shelved it. I shelved the still-recurring thought and deliberately thought about something else (whatever was in front of me--[my friends and I] were running off someplace). Tonight, I refelt that thought, and it is still running, as it must run throughout the whole [length of] my existence: like two mirrors converging upon themselves, the thought in the apex is destined to reflect itself unto infinity.
That, my friends, is the perpetual motion machine that seems to exist only metaphysically.
Let me write this down now, before I forget. I remembered a way of looking at the world, much as Neo did after his 'resurrection': except the world for me was kind of orange, not green (different VAX colors?). But it did seem like I could "see" the physical contours of the room without having my eyes open. I knew I was entering a deep trance; but I was able to keep talking through it. From [when I recorded] my memories of the ear piercing and the Kool-Aid (which is the more significant one, I'd say), I was in that trance. I can hear the random sounds and see the mental images in my head, and remember how they came to be known as words to me, or 'memories', as the case may be.
The Kool-Aid incident. I couldn't have been more than four years old. I remember thinking about a self-referential thought. Some part of me knew that if I concentrated on this thought, that it would be dangerous (caught in a thought loop). But it managed to loop several times, me working through each of those first reiterations laboriously, like any unsuspecting four-year-old would. Then I shelved it. I shelved the still-recurring thought and deliberately thought about something else (whatever was in front of me--[my friends and I] were running off someplace). Tonight, I refelt that thought, and it is still running, as it must run throughout the whole [length of] my existence: like two mirrors converging upon themselves, the thought in the apex is destined to reflect itself unto infinity.
That, my friends, is the perpetual motion machine that seems to exist only metaphysically.