IMO, this like many other irrational behaviors goes back to the psychology of approval-seeking. "Winning an argument" is for some people a substitute for approval.
I don't necessarily have to "win" an argument, but sometimes I'm bullheaded and will keep on until I feel that I'm at least understood. It's hard for me to leave a conversation/argument alone if I feel I'm being misunderstood (or one of the terms we're discussing is being misunderstood, or whatever) in some fundamental way.
To communicate is to leave open the possibility of being misunderstood.
I had a huge problem with this several years ago, but I have come to accept this as a given. (Of course, when I write, I try to minimize this as much as possible.)
This is not to say that one should accept being misunderstood. However, there is a difference between actually being misunderstood and the perception that one is misunderstood. Hammering a point home due to that (mis)perception doesn't help things.
I've become a lot more circumspect about whether or not it is important to make my point. There are times when it dawns on me that my point is being missed so grandly, that the effort it would take to explain where I'm coming from makes it untenable to continue with the conversation. If I have to write a disseration on postmodern ethics to get my viewpoint across, I'd just as soon move on to other efforts more important to me.
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(no subject)
Date: 2005-08-09 02:52 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-08-09 02:55 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-08-09 02:58 pm (UTC)I had a huge problem with this several years ago, but I have come to accept this as a given. (Of course, when I write, I try to minimize this as much as possible.)
(no subject)
Date: 2005-08-09 04:08 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-08-09 05:32 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-08-09 05:18 pm (UTC)