I'm glad to see the local pagan organization soundly condemned her actions. Anyone who uses supposed religious authority to abuse the young should be severely punished, I don't care what religion they are purporting to be practicing.
The ex-student, whose name has not been released for safety concerns, claimed she was assaulted from June to August last year. ... In Kent County, the girl testified that she still had feelings for her former teacher. Her relatives told the Grand Rapids Press that Miklosovic brainwashed her into thinking no crime was committed. ... During pretrial testimony in Kent County, the girl had trouble incriminating Miklosovic.
"I can't do this," the tearful teen said several times.
She says she was assaulted. She says she has feelings for her teacher. She says she "can't do this". And it's in Grand Rapids, haven of Dutch Christian Reformed bible-thumpers. It sounds like her parents found out that she's a) a lesbian and b) pagan and had a fit. THEY are forcing her to testify against her "wife" even though she doesn't want to. It's the relatives saying that she's brainwashed, which is typical religious-reactionary behavior whenever someone does something "ungodly". It's not their fault, they're just brainwashed.
It is not uncommon for abusers to manipulate their victims into having sympathy for them or even convincing them it is true love. Often victims of sexual abuse have conflicting feelings about the situation - the abusers play on their feelings. "I am the only one who understands you." "Wow, your parents are really mean." "You are so mature for your age, so bright and talented!" Insecure teens will fall for this really hard, epecially if they already have a poor relationship with their family. This is a flat out abuse of authority on the teacher's part, perpetrated on an emotionally troubled child. But ultimately, under law the girl's feelings are not a consideration. The law is that she was too young to be having sex with her teacher, and the teacher obviously knows this - hence the secrecy about their relationship. Furthermore, since she was emotionally troubled in the first place, I don't think she would fall into the category of a teen who was mature enough to be entering an adult realtionship. I see people giving abusers the benefit of the doubt often when it comes to sex with someone in their mid-teens. It might help to look at it this way - the adult partner knows the law in most of these cases, and chooses to ignore it. It isn't love - if it were really love, they would wait until their "lover" were old enouigh to not go through the risk of public embarassment of this sort. If it were really love, it could wait 2 to 3 years while they built a platonic relationship. But what this really is, is a woman who had no self-control, or who wanted someone vulnerable and weak who would look up to her with respect. I do believe that since paganism and homosexuality is involved, she will probably be judged more harshly than if it were not, and that is unfair - but the teacher should have known that this would be used against her if tshe did such a thing and therefore should have been more circumspect in her behavior.
I think that's a slippery slope to go down, in some ways.
Yes, a teacher should have known better. However, there is a significant and important difference between 'repeated manipulation and sexual assault of a minor' and 'letting one's honest emotions overcome one's common sense'. As someone who has been in what I feel is real love, I understand how those sorts of thing can cloud one's better judgement even in the most cut-and-dried of cases.
Now, I have no idea of the real details of the situation. It could EASILY be manipulation of a vulnerable troubled child by a malicious, disturbed or thoughtless adult. However, it could easily have been honest feelings on both sides of the equation that overrode common sense. Personally, I'd prefer to know which before I condemn.
Of course, I do realize that the rest of the world doesn't share my views. ;)
I'm not necessarily disagreeing with you, but I'm just afraid if it WERE a consensual relationship nobody would notice amid all the hubbub. I don't remember if the article mentioned her being emotionally disturbed prior to the relationship, but even if it did that info may have come from the biased parents. I have no problem with an emotionally mature person (whether they be 25 or 15) having sex, and the fact that the law does is meant to protect those who MAY not be mature enough. The laws, IMGO, are too strict since they take no account of the consent or even eagerness of anyone under a hard-and-fast age of consent. That aside, the issues of parental protectiveness (no, MY baby isn't going to have sex until she's 30 and married!), religion (my baby will stay a virgin until her wedding night, and after that only have sex to have babies), homosexuality (no WAY my baby is a dyke!), and political impact (look at the poor young girl wronged, we must make stronger laws) of this case are very likely to completely bias any "official" record of what happened, even to the point of lying about things to make them look better.
One of my pet peeves is that people have exactly zero say in what happens to them until they hit age-of-majority, at which point they're responsible for EVERYTHING. Nobody belives a kid. Nobody thinks they're mature enough to have a real opinion. If they say something you disagree with, just say that they're "too young" or "brainwashed" or "confused" and go on with whatever you wanted to do in the first place. BUT! If they DO agree with you, suddenly their testimony/opinion is of paramount importance.
I don't know what happened between that girl and her teacher. Neither does anyone except them, most likely, and that's also likely the way it's going to stay. The papers and lawyers and parents and priests will say whatever they want to say, whether or not it really reflects what happened, and the public will believe them because if either the girl OR the woman say differently they won't be believed. The woman is on trial, and the girl is "emotionally disturbed", which is a great way of saying "not important to this case". If the girl really was taken advantage of and/or abused, this works out just fine since the woman will be punished. But if not, this is horrible since she'll be punished ANYWAY! And certainly kept from the girl.
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(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-03 07:37 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-03 09:41 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-03 10:06 pm (UTC)The ex-student, whose name has not been released for safety concerns, claimed she was assaulted from June to August last year.
...
In Kent County, the girl testified that she still had feelings for her former teacher. Her relatives told the Grand Rapids Press that Miklosovic brainwashed her into thinking no crime was committed.
...
During pretrial testimony in Kent County, the girl had trouble incriminating Miklosovic.
"I can't do this," the tearful teen said several times.
She says she was assaulted. She says she has feelings for her teacher. She says she "can't do this". And it's in Grand Rapids, haven of Dutch Christian Reformed bible-thumpers. It sounds like her parents found out that she's a) a lesbian and b) pagan and had a fit. THEY are forcing her to testify against her "wife" even though she doesn't want to. It's the relatives saying that she's brainwashed, which is typical religious-reactionary behavior whenever someone does something "ungodly". It's not their fault, they're just brainwashed.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-03 10:36 pm (UTC)But ultimately, under law the girl's feelings are not a consideration. The law is that she was too young to be having sex with her teacher, and the teacher obviously knows this - hence the secrecy about their relationship. Furthermore, since she was emotionally troubled in the first place, I don't think she would fall into the category of a teen who was mature enough to be entering an adult realtionship.
I see people giving abusers the benefit of the doubt often when it comes to sex with someone in their mid-teens. It might help to look at it this way - the adult partner knows the law in most of these cases, and chooses to ignore it. It isn't love - if it were really love, they would wait until their "lover" were old enouigh to not go through the risk of public embarassment of this sort. If it were really love, it could wait 2 to 3 years while they built a platonic relationship. But what this really is, is a woman who had no self-control, or who wanted someone vulnerable and weak who would look up to her with respect.
I do believe that since paganism and homosexuality is involved, she will probably be judged more harshly than if it were not, and that is unfair - but the teacher should have known that this would be used against her if tshe did such a thing and therefore should have been more circumspect in her behavior.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-03 11:57 pm (UTC)Yes, a teacher should have known better. However, there is a significant and important difference between 'repeated manipulation and sexual assault of a minor' and 'letting one's honest emotions overcome one's common sense'. As someone who has been in what I feel is real love, I understand how those sorts of thing can cloud one's better judgement even in the most cut-and-dried of cases.
Now, I have no idea of the real details of the situation. It could EASILY be manipulation of a vulnerable troubled child by a malicious, disturbed or thoughtless adult. However, it could easily have been honest feelings on both sides of the equation that overrode common sense. Personally, I'd prefer to know which before I condemn.
Of course, I do realize that the rest of the world doesn't share my views. ;)
(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-04 02:14 am (UTC)One of my pet peeves is that people have exactly zero say in what happens to them until they hit age-of-majority, at which point they're responsible for EVERYTHING. Nobody belives a kid. Nobody thinks they're mature enough to have a real opinion. If they say something you disagree with, just say that they're "too young" or "brainwashed" or "confused" and go on with whatever you wanted to do in the first place. BUT! If they DO agree with you, suddenly their testimony/opinion is of paramount importance.
I don't know what happened between that girl and her teacher. Neither does anyone except them, most likely, and that's also likely the way it's going to stay. The papers and lawyers and parents and priests will say whatever they want to say, whether or not it really reflects what happened, and the public will believe them because if either the girl OR the woman say differently they won't be believed. The woman is on trial, and the girl is "emotionally disturbed", which is a great way of saying "not important to this case". If the girl really was taken advantage of and/or abused, this works out just fine since the woman will be punished. But if not, this is horrible since she'll be punished ANYWAY! And certainly kept from the girl.