I'm trying to spend a lot of "Janann-time", which is difficult with someone in the same room most of the time. Generally I achieve this by hooking up the earphones to my stereo and trying to generate some poetry.
We sleep in the same bed. We bundle only. As far as I'm aware, we rarely even touch.
I've told my father. It kind of came up in a conversation about something only slightly related. I'd kept it sort of a secret for a week. I didn't want to; I just couldn't figure out to whom to break the ice, and in what context. It was a tough conversation. But I'm glad someone in my family knows, and someone very close to the activity of this whole thing. Someone who can, when the time comes down to it, not only contribute his ideas about the situation but actually expend some force of will into the issue.
He tried to hold my hand today. I did flinch back, but the reasoning at the time was rather reflexive, as I didn't have time to really think about what was being tried: I had baby formula on my fingers, and I knew they were sticky. Two seconds after I explained why I wasn't holding his hand (because he asked why I unlaced my fingers), I pondered why the entire scheme of events had occurred at all. But of course, I only pondered this to myself.
I don't quite know what's going on in his head. But I specifically spake the words "I don't want to be your girlfriend" to him not less than three weeks ago. I don't know what is ambiguous about that statement.
I don't quite know what's going on in his head. But I specifically spake the words "I don't want to be your girlfriend" to him not less than three weeks ago. I don't know what is ambiguous about that statement.
leading off from that, my first thought is that want is ambiguous in that statement. It's not a decisive statement, like, "I'm breaking up with you." or "So we're agreed, we're not going together anymore." or "I am not your girlfriend." or even "when are you going to move out?" ...
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Date: 2002-11-25 10:26 pm (UTC)I'm trying to spend a lot of "Janann-time", which is difficult with someone in the same room most of the time. Generally I achieve this by hooking up the earphones to my stereo and trying to generate some poetry.
We sleep in the same bed. We bundle only. As far as I'm aware, we rarely even touch.
I've told my father. It kind of came up in a conversation about something only slightly related. I'd kept it sort of a secret for a week. I didn't want to; I just couldn't figure out to whom to break the ice, and in what context. It was a tough conversation. But I'm glad someone in my family knows, and someone very close to the activity of this whole thing. Someone who can, when the time comes down to it, not only contribute his ideas about the situation but actually expend some force of will into the issue.
He tried to hold my hand today. I did flinch back, but the reasoning at the time was rather reflexive, as I didn't have time to really think about what was being tried: I had baby formula on my fingers, and I knew they were sticky. Two seconds after I explained why I wasn't holding his hand (because he asked why I unlaced my fingers), I pondered why the entire scheme of events had occurred at all. But of course, I only pondered this to myself.
I don't quite know what's going on in his head. But I specifically spake the words "I don't want to be your girlfriend" to him not less than three weeks ago. I don't know what is ambiguous about that statement.
(no subject)
Date: 2002-11-26 04:42 am (UTC)leading off from that, my first thought is that want is ambiguous in that statement. It's not a decisive statement, like, "I'm breaking up with you." or "So we're agreed, we're not going together anymore." or "I am not your girlfriend." or even "when are you going to move out?" ...
whose baby?