(no subject)

[novapsyche]

After two days of disappointment, I walked to my bus stop and saw no one in the enclosure. I knew it, I could have gone home early, I thought to myself. Then I looked and saw Paul walking across the street to the enclosure. I'm sorry, Lord, I won't question things prematurely again.

It's funny; we haven't been talking much during our first leg, but when we make our next connection we've been sitting very near each other (though still not in adjacent seats). We talked a little about politics today; then he told me that he's thinking of applying to law school. He said being a Libra it's hard for him to come to definitive decisions (the process is "glacial", he said). "Sounds like me," I said.

Later we discussed religion for a short while. I admitted that I was a "heretic", then amended my statement to explain that I went through an agnostic phase but now consider myself to be a gnostic. "I love mysticism," I said later. I don't know how many points I may have won or lost, saying that to someone who holds rationalism as highly as he does. After a few conversations, it would seem that he considers the operations of faith to be suspect.

I'm also afraid I might have appeared stalkerish when I asked him what his plans were for tonight. Really, I was just trying to find a way to insert into the conversation that my big plans were to watch Survivor. Maybe it's just as well that the conversation took a tangent just then.

It's been so long since I've had a crush. I don't know if he actually likes me or if I'm projecting onto him. But we have a very comfortable speaking style with each other. Considering that I generally avoid strangers and hate small talk, that's a big big sign in my book.

I'm working up to the question of coffee. I don't want to come on too strong.

Comments

[calya.livejournal.com]

It sounds like you're doing all the right things to try to get to know him. You have no expectations and neither does he. If you are projecting onto him, I'm sure it's a subconscious thing which you don't intend in the slightest. If you have a good rapport with him, and can converse easily and well, then it sounds to me like you're doing the right thing by just being yourself.

[novapsyche.livejournal.com]

*nod* You've confirmed what I was thinking just this morning. It's hard to be yourself when you're nervous, though.

[xiombarg.livejournal.com]

Take deep breaths and try not to stake anything on the outcome of any given interaction.

[novapsyche.livejournal.com]

Yeah.

It's so weird. For so long, I've gone after those I've been attracted to quite directly. It's odd for me to be so shy and get so worked up.

I was just thinking this morning that the last person I really had a crush on, really and truly, was you. I used to walk into Quad and see if you were in line or at the Table. When I realized I was doing that, that's when I knew I was developing feelings. I'm doing the same thing with Paul. But I don't have the luxury of sending an almost-love letter to him via email. If I'm going to make a fool of myself, I'll have to do so in person.

[kittenkissies.livejournal.com]

Oh, relax, durn you.

[novapsyche.livejournal.com]

Heh. :)

I just want to make a good impression!

[duncang.livejournal.com]

I think you have two options...
propose meeting for coffee to talk more, talk longer...
or show up at his door in a robe and negliege. It works... really.

[novapsyche.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that kind of worked, the last time I tried it on you. :)