what is marriage?

[novapsyche]

This culture clash has been years in the making, ever since people started believing that love was a reason for entering into the marital contract. If marriage were only for property and material reasons, that's one thing (arranged marriage). If marriage were only for procreation, that's another thing. But it passed into popular culture that two people who fall in love should be allowed to marry.

What do we want to uphold? Why should people enter into the marriage contract? Because they love each other.

Comments

[prema.livejournal.com]

personally i think marriage is a lot more than love. it's the basis for social structure. If two people love each other - they don't _need_ to get married to show their love. Why should it matter to anyone else who one loves? It's a very personal thing - you make a commitment to your partner not the rest of the world.

What marriage has implied typically is that it's ok to start a family once one is in a marriage. The term bastard was borne (pun intended) out of that custom. Society felt (and in most places still feel) that for the formation of a family unit, parents should be bonded in marriage at some point. This is not so much for protection of the society or morals but rather for the child that is born - so that he/she has legal guardians for the first 18 years of their lives. Unadopted orphans are given similar support (but perhaps unequal?) support at orphanages.

I think that the whole marriage is love "meme" is remarkably silly. People are passing it on without thinking for themseleves what they truly consider marriage to be. If one is for same sex marriages - its certainly naive to think that the only reason one marries is for love. The legal and social benefits of marriage are being overlooked.

[novapsyche.livejournal.com]

personally i think marriage is a lot more than love. it's the basis for social structure.

Absolutely. Unfortunately, that concept is tied into that of the nuclear family, etc.

Ultimately, people are afraid of fundamental change to society. But as my dad said, it's analogous to when women got the right to vote, and also to the civil rights movement: we've gone through these societal shakeups that eventually become the norm.

I admitted to my dad: I never thought I'd live to see gay marriage in my lifetime.

Re:

[vaxjedi]

If one is for same sex marriages - its certainly naive to think that the only reason one marries is for love. The legal and social benefits of marriage are being overlooked.

I think that the point is that if the love is there (or genuine desire to commit to a marital relationship), then the legal system and social systems should condone that as well. And that condoning such an arrangement is not detrimental to society, but instead allows more members of society to participate in the cornerstone of society - i.e. a strong family.