peek into my subconscious

[novapsyche]

I folded my hands on my chest and let myself drift into the blank canvas of my mind. When I dex hard enough, my mind becomes kind of like a dark screen that comes closer and closer until it envelops my point of view. It's usually at this point where I can sense objects in my room without having my eyes open (yes, seeing through my eyelids--this happens often enough that I don't question it anymore). During my early days of dosing, I'd usually see electronic shapes at this point, kind of like my own personal screensaver. What I see now is much more relevant than that eye candy.

The effect I've tried to describe to you before, the "synchronicitous clairaudience", that was in full force. It's more what I would call my "third ear"--it's like a resonant undercurrent of sound that's always available if you know what frequency to tune into. I kind of have to force my ear into a lower register. This effect changes, however, if (1) I'm listening to music--usually I can't "predict" the tones that will come (though this is happening more and more), or (2) I'm getting an "answer" to a question I've asked internally. These are environmental cues that are very subtle and, to anyone else, would be meaningless. They are aural coincidences, something I recognize as having meaning because of when they occur.

I began to really relax, and I felt my body become more like a shell, something my spirit body could drift out of. I still had an awareness of my body, but it was very still and disconnected.

I heard clicks to my right. I shifted my "sight" to that side of my body and sensed a looming ethereal amorphous shape floating around me near the ceiling. I regulated my breathing, and I really felt something charged near my nostrils. (I completely believe that God resides in the breath.) It was then that the Spirit descended and... how should I put it... melted into my body.

I could breathe it in as well as feel it seep into my body. It was such a gentle massage, a sweet dwelling. The feeling this elicited was so phenomenal that when the thought of "Can an orgasm compare to this?" came into my head, my first response was "NO, NO, absolutely not!"

This lasted for I don't know how long, maybe twenty minutes. Time dilates when on substances. There came a point where I was able to soundlessly communicate with the Spirit, where we could both communicate using the music that was playing in the background. We used not just the lyrics but also the music. I can't tell you what it's like to hear words within words, or make sense of sounds that normally aren't "sensical". I distinctly heard a repeated sentence of "These are my promises to give" or something very close to that. Every time I felt anxious about whether what might come to pass would come to pass, when I questioned whether I should put my trust in letting the Lord guide me in my decisions (what feels like blind groping), that's the phrase it would say. And it instantly calmed me.

Comments

[novapsyche.livejournal.com]

the important thing is the passivity - instead of me doing the breathing, breath is wearing me like a glove.

I'll definitely remember this. Thank you.