*sigh*

[novapsyche]

I managed to make someone cry today. It was someone I consider a friend; I wasn't even trying to be mean; and all of this occurred before 8 in the morning.

I was being critical, though again not in a mean way. This person had opened a door for someone and then pointed this out to the person in a loud voice when she didn't acknowledge the effort. I said to my friend that she should be kind without expecting thanks--that one should accomplish acts of kindness out of selflessness instead of seeking acknowledgments from others. My tone was light, in a gently teasing way, and a smile was on my face as I spoke.

These words brought tears to her eyes. This had the effect of necessitating that I apologize, which of course I would have done no matter what had caused the crying. However, I suspect that by taking offense she will completely ignore the content of what I said, which again was not delivered in a cruel way.

Comments

[fizzyland.livejournal.com]

Real friends are willing to share uncomfortable truths. I'm sure you weren't judgmental about it and hopefully she will process her emotions and understand that.

[novapsyche.livejournal.com]

Real friends are willing to share uncomfortable truths.

This is what I think, too. I still don't like making people cry.

Krissy (the woman in question) was one of the first people I felt comfortable around at the shelter, but in the intervening weeks there's been some friction between us. Nothing I could put my finger on; I think our personality types just don't rub smoothly against each other. I'd like to talk to her frankly about certain things, but now I'm afraid she'd take offense at so many things that I don't think I'll be able to be honest with her.

[fizzyland.livejournal.com]

Whatever was said, you might have hit pretty close to the truth or something she feels is the truth. Maybe that will open more communication or not. Relations are always dependent on the willingness of both parties.