badly written words
May. 17th, 2009 06:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
novapsychePerhaps because I work with words on a close and intimate basis, I recognized almost immediately that these were sentences that were unfortunately composed:
This could be read that Obama felt that murder was okay, then the crowd booed him. But actually, the protester exclaimed, the crowd booed, and then Obama spoke to the crowd.
Writing well is about putting the right words in the right order. The juxtaposition above is careless to the point of clouding what actually occurred.
"Abortion is murder," one protester screamed.
"That's all right," Obama said as the crowd booed.
This could be read that Obama felt that murder was okay, then the crowd booed him. But actually, the protester exclaimed, the crowd booed, and then Obama spoke to the crowd.
Writing well is about putting the right words in the right order. The juxtaposition above is careless to the point of clouding what actually occurred.