willful and not-so-willful ignorance

[novapsyche]

3 in 10 Americans admit to racial bias | comments attached to article

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I ended up going to the party (I wanted to promote my poetry, but I never ended up doing so, although I did show my chapbook to J., the host).

T., a gentleman in his 50s, took an immediate interest in me, and we got to talking about various things. However, he kept bringing up assumptions. For example, when I told him I grew up in Belleville, he asked if my father had worked in the auto factories. T. let it be known that he grew up on the south side of Chicago (I immediately thought of that clip I just talked about this week).

When we were downstairs listening to music (something contemporary was on), he went out of his way to get J. to change the music to James Brown. The three of us were talking, so at one point I asked them this question (with the caveat that I didn't mean anything bad about this, I just wanted to ask the question):

Why is it, when a black person is involved in a conversation in a majority of white people, that certain white people will mention a black person of status?

I went on to say that this was a phenomenon that may be more prevalent now since Barack Obama has won the Democratic ticket. Yet, I'd seen this behavior often for the last two years. (T. said, "Two?" and I nodded.)

Then they both said that they liked the music of the 70s, and I said I love jazz and funk music, too. It was a synthesis of sound. J. said, "Well, I could talk about the Beatles." (I didn't mention at that point that the Beatles themselves had acknowledged that they had taken the style of black music of that era and sold it back to middle-class Americans.) I brought up the fact that I'd dated someone from Iowa who sincerely felt that funk music was a joke. Where he had come from, it was something to ridicule.

T. said that he really liked Stevie Wonder. Then he said, "It's not like he's a Mozart," and then chastised himself for saying what he did.

For the rest of the night, J. kept asking me about George Washington Carver, Prince, Marcus Garvey, just for kicks. (I truly hope he doesn't keep up that joke. If he does, I will have to find out how to get him back.)

It is something I've noticed lately, though. I spoke about this with yellowmouser to some extent. Once, when we were at Tios, people were talking about tennis, and someone really had to reach to include Venus and Serena Williams. We were talking about a completely different era of tennis (Pete Sampras, Steffi Graf).

I don't know how to address those situations, where there are people who seem to want to "include" me (or other non-majority persons) in the conversation. They perhaps are well-intentioned. But really it is another way that their racism is showing.

I think the only way to address it is to use the pointed question, as I did last night.

Comments

[novapsyche.livejournal.com]

I understand what you mean, that relating certain stories reveals that one is an ally towards another's causes. At the same time, there are appropriate times when certain subjects are discussed as well as inappropriate ones. For example, today I went to the post office and I noticed that someone in a wheelchair was entering. I believe (although I hesitated) that it was appropriate for me to hold the door for her. It would have been inappropriate for me to have blurted out, "My grandmother was an amputee."

Or, say you're talking with friends, one of whom happens to be homosexual. Would you out of the blue turn to that person and say, "So, I think Ellen Degeneres' marriage is groundbreaking" or "Cheney is a fuck for not supporting gay rights, considering his daughter"? And would you continue to point out certain famous gay people, even when the subject matter changed? That is the behavior I'm calling out.

We have no control over our initial circumstances, including our race. As such, I think there is no doubt that you will run into people who, in a sense, want to apologize for their position, or point out that they respect yours.

I understand, and of course in certain contexts and circumstances would welcome that sentiment. It is the expression of such, however, that signifies sensitivity, and it is the sensitivity of certain subjects that is paramount.

One may be well-meaning and still be a clod.

[atdt1991.livejournal.com]

*giggle* Erm, no, neither of those would be appropriate. I know you asked a question and then gave the context that made you ask it, but I was more or less just answering the question as it pertained to me.

I think it can be universally applied, in the sense that upon meeting someone, I rarely wish to discuss my sexuality outright, nor do I want to have my sexuality constantly pointed out to me. I would also feel very awkward and uncomfortable if someone were repeatedly pointing out my race, directly or indirectly.