Blogging Against Racism Week

[novapsyche]

I've seen several of my friends post along BARW lines this week, and I've been meaning to make at least one post, but I've been busy and tired and it's been one of those things I keep putting off. Not that I don't think it's important, but largely because I post about race a lot anyway.

Ever since I was little, I've taken a bit of pride (cardinal sin as it is) that I've been historically the black chick who explodes racial stereotypes. I was on college track scholastically since I was in second grade. I attended a majority-white school system and, from my pre-teen years until college, attended a majority-white church (Free Methodist). I went to Grinnell College, a very small, elite private college that was very white, despite being devoted to a philosophy of multiculturalism. I've subscribed to mainstream American (read: middle-class) values for as long as I can remember. I was usually the only black student in my classroom in elementary and secondary school, and I was the only black female who was in the smart (read: nerd) clique.

Of course, I deal with my own racism, which paradoxically is against those of my own race. When I was 17, I'd had a string of bad romantic relationships, all with those who were black or mixed, and so I made the conscious decision to date exclusive outside my race. And, so far, I've kept to that. On the whole, I've been happy with this decision, although I've had two quite disastrous relationships since then, so I know that dating outside of my race hasn't changed much in terms of my success in dating. However, I have felt more comfortable, especially in terms of finding people who also hold mainstream American values. It's far easier to find a middle-class white male than a middle-class black male, at least in the Midwest. Sad, but very true. (I think this would be far different if I lived on either seaboard.)

When I was growing up, I had family members accuse me of "acting white" because I liked school and read a lot. I basically shrugged this off (although I still have painful memories of one cousin [who's since passed] who called me "yellow" because of my lighter skin tone). I'm glad I liked school as much as I did--that enabled me to go to Grinnell, which has indelibly shaped my life.

I don't self-identify as black, unless I have to (like on government forms). I try to just be me. It bothers me when I meet new people and they go out of their way to name famous black people when engaged in conversation; this really doesn't make me feel comfortable, and in fact has the effect of making me hyperaware of the race that society has placed upon me. For example, I was hanging out with the Stilyagi crew a few weeks ago, and I mentioned Wimbledon and if anyone had seen the finals. I was actually talking about the men's final, which had been an epic game, but the folks I talked to brought up the Williams sisters--as though I obviously meant to refer to them. Here at work, I was talking to a few colleagues about movies and celebrities, and one of them made an effort to mention how someone was a dead ringer for Lawrence Fishburne. I'm waiting for someone to drop Sidney Poitier in conversation; that'll seal the deal for me.

So, yes, I struggle with my own ideas of race, despite having to deal with the lived experience of being a black woman. I still have to consciously put myself in the shoes of Hispanics, even though our races/ethnicities both live in racist America and we have more in common, I'm sure, than we have in differences. I try to imagine what it is to be Asian-American and have to deal with positive stereotypes, and what one would need to do to explode those, whether one would want to. I try to think about Native Americans and their unique relationship to mainstream culture, their particular struggles; I think about how the government has a vested interest in classifying very few people as Native American so as to keep them from getting government funds, and how the government has had a vested interest in classifying those of my own race as such so as to keep them from access to jobs and housing (indirect governmental/societal funds & goods). I think about those of my governmentally classified race who can pass, and what types of issues with race they have to struggle with and against. It's a terrible soup that we all have to muddle through.

Comments

[riverrealm.livejournal.com]

Thank you for writing on this subject.

Is BARW like Blogathon 2007, where people posted every half hour for 24hrs and got pledges of financial support towards a cause/organization of their choice?

[novapsyche.livejournal.com]

Thank you for writing on this subject.

Sure. Like I say, I do it fairly regularly anyway. Some of what I've written above, I've blogged about before.

Is BARW like Blogathon 2007?

I have no idea. I'd never heard of Blogathon 2007 before now. :)

[riverrealm.livejournal.com]

Like I say, I do it fairly regularly anyway. Some of what I've written above, I've blogged about before.
I realize that. I hadn't noticed an entry this comprehensive in the past, and don't remember commenting on such before either. So, in general, I just wanted to say I appreciate reading your perspective on this subject.

Someone on my friends list did Blogathon 2007. I don't know much about it or its effect; there might be more info here...
http://www.blogathon.org/

[atdt1991.livejournal.com]

"Ever since I was little, I've taken a bit of pride (cardinal sin as it is) that I've been historically the black chick who explodes racial stereotypes."

"I don't self-identify as black, unless I have to (like on government forms). I try to just be me."

I think these exact things, except about gender.

[novapsyche.livejournal.com]

Oh yes. Everyone needs a social axis on which to redefine the mainstream/stereotype.

I actually identify much more strongly with my gender than I do with my race, so I focus more on feminism than I do race issues. And then I identify as a straight black chick, so I have to explore heterosexism (of which I'm still guilty often) and homophobia, often in the context of other factors such as socioeconomic or regional differences. Like I say, a terrible soup.

[jennkitty.livejournal.com]

I identify as a bisexual white woman, and we fall through more cracks within the subculture than one might think! :)

Sex and Gender are pet issues of mine, which I don't write about often enough. I think I'd love to discuss it with you, and some of your regular commenters.

[dionysus1999.livejournal.com]

I sometimes forget that I've got a Native American ancestor in my past. I'm proud to be connected to the land in a literal fashion.

I've always had mixed feelings about being middle class. My father's family lives on the borderlands between working class and middle class, we have some traits of both.

My education puts me squarely in the middle class, though I feel that some of my working class values are more important than much of what is passed off as middle class.

[novapsyche.livejournal.com]

I think a great deal of folks whose ancestors have been here for several generations probably have a high likelihood of having a Native American ancestor. I also have a NA ancestor on my mother's mother's side, but I don't know all the details. I'll have to ask my mom again.

Unlike you, I have absolutely no qualms about being in the middle class (which I am primarily by virtue, like you, due to my education). I grew up poor. I'm very happy to be an example of upward mobility, which in the United States is actually very difficult to do. Much easier to see downward mobility among the classes.

[dionysus1999.livejournal.com]

I think it's dangerous to have middle class values and a working class income. I've known people who have the inability to budget themselves, mainly because they believe they "deserve" a middle class lifestyle, but can't secure a middle class income. I think some of the downward mobility is due to this disconnect between lifestyle and income.

The middle class for me stands for the values that have trashed our country and the world. I'm not proud to be middle class, it's the main consumer class. It's the class of looks over substance.

I'll always be counter culture. ;)

[autodidactic.livejournal.com]

You and I have a lot in common, and a lot not in common. It'd be cool to sit down and talk with you someday about it all. I was born in D.C., raised all up and down the east coast, and ended up here in the Midwest accidentally on purpose. It's been long enough now that I'm probably a midwesterner proper... especially since I'm made extremely uncomfortable by the whole blacker-than-thou crowd, who seem extra thick on the coasts.

Oh man, someday. You, me, a little drink or three.

[novapsyche.livejournal.com]

I'd love to have a drink with you. One of these days! :)

[jdoggiedogg.livejournal.com]

I have the luxury of not having to think about racism very often, so thank you for providing me an opportunity to look into my own beliefs on this very important subject.

As for the white people who try to overcompensate by showing their support of black people (I love Sidney Poitier) as much as this is annoying for you, I suspect that part of it is because of their own shame as white people for knowing how badly their race has treated black people. I know that I carry that shame within me. When I think about what white people did to blacks, I want to cry and apologize to every black person I meet. Of course, this would just make them more uncomfortable, and so instead I try to swallow my shame and treat everyone as I would treat anyone. But the shame is still there, nagging at the back of my consciousness.

[novapsyche.livejournal.com]

instead I try to swallow my shame and treat everyone as I would treat anyone

Treating everyone as you would treat anyone is all you can do and all anyone could ask of you. I hope you realize that.

The way to combat racism in daily life is to see and treat people of your own race and those not of your own race as individuals. It can be difficult, especially when prejudices come up unbidden in your mind. But when they do, and you're consciously aware of them, that's when you have the opportunity to mend your long-held beliefs. Just yesterday, I was walking home, and I noticed two men walking toward me on the sidewalk. One was white, one was black, both in their mid- to late twenties. The black guy was ahead of the white guy. I instinctively(?) grasped my purse more tightly, then thought about this. "Both of those men are as likely to attack me as the other. I need to be vigilant against both." I walked by them and nodded to them as I passed. Race had nothing to do with my risk (especially not in the college town of Ann Arbor). Race had everything to do with my reaction.

[jennkitty.livejournal.com]

Ryan is Hispanic and Native American, but I think he self-identifies, and I think of him, as Californian, which isn't really a race, but more of a mindset.

When I was younger I used to wonder, what would it be like to be a boy, or to have dark skin, or to speak a different language at home. I wonder if children tend to conceptualize like that, or just take themselves at face (race) value these days.

I don't know that I have anything interesting to comment which flows directly from your post, except that I never really consider your race. Occasionally I consider your skin tone. For example, when we were at the pirate event, I saw some outfits that made me think how fabulous they would look on you, based on the pics of you I've seen. But even that took into consideration your build, carriage, attitude, etc.

I think this is a non-comment. But I like the way your post has started me thinking.

[novapsyche.livejournal.com]

*smile* I like being thought-provoking! Yay!

Yeah, I don't think about my race all day. Although I do notice my skin tone. Like, I'll be walking home and I'll think, "I don't want to tan." Tans take forever to fade. And every year, I get darker. I'd like to just stay one tone. (Makes it easier to shop for make-up, at least. Which is another topic for another time [feminism].)

[vrax.livejournal.com]

You're cool.

I lie that you can a knowledge your faults, and not et them drag you down. Once we recognize shortcomings we can move past them, and guilt is only a distraction.

Rock on.

[novapsyche.livejournal.com]

*smile* I know I'm not a saint on the issue of race. But I keep trying to dig at what I see as my shortcomings and work on them. Like I told one of my colleagues here at work yesterday, I've started revisiting my "dating outside of my race exclusively" 'policy' (although I don't mean right now, because I'm so very happy being with yellowmouser *bright smile*).

You're right: just need to take notice of these issues/slips/mental blocks, readjust, and keep on walking.

And I think you're cool, too. :) Just sayin'.

[aiela.livejournal.com]

There was just an article on cnn.com a few days ago about middle class black women choosing to date white men due to the lack of "marriagable" middle class black men, and their experiences in doing so.

It's a terrible soup that we all have to muddle through.

[fizzyland.livejournal.com]

It is indeed. And despite being a white male, I'm profoundly uncomfortable in such a racist, sexist, homophobic society. I have always been sensitive to it, because I'm an Outsider in my thinking if not skin or gender.