(no subject)

[novapsyche]

What do you do when someone you suspect is lying to you says, "I'm not lying; I have no reason to lie to you"?

Comments

[xterminal.livejournal.com]

Assume they're lying, of course. Everyone has a reason to lie; "I have no reason to lie to you" is a confidence-game trick.

[dionysus1999.livejournal.com]

It's definitely an odd defense, I'd be more likely to ask why someone thought I was lying. The person who says I have no reason to lie to you is putting you on the defensive.

I get the feeling the person DOES have reasons to lie to you, but they want you to think they don't.

[rikhei.livejournal.com]

Do they really have no reason to lie to you?

[redivivus-fate.livejournal.com]

Man, I hate that. I have never had success in tactfully responding to that situation.

[metaphorge.livejournal.com]

WHat did their bidly language and your intuition tell you? Based on several years of observation of you in LJ-land, I'sd certainly say you should trust your intuition.

[novapsyche.livejournal.com]

No body language available--the conversation took place over the phone.

[chimalis.livejournal.com]

Protesting too much? I personally would be more suspicious.

[quiet-flame.livejournal.com]

Kick them in the nuts.

[royhuggins.livejournal.com]

The fact that it rubs you the wrong way tells you that something's wrong, right? The content of his statement is probably irrefutable (I doubt he'd say it if it wasn't irrefutable.) So if you ignore your feelings and respond to the content of his statement, you're lost.

Basically, respond to the process behind their statement rather than the content of it. It doesn't matter if he ostensibly has no reason to lie to you. If you're pretty sure he's lying and his defense does nothing to assuage your concerns, this tells you that either he is trying to cover something up or he just doesn't have very good social skills. :) Let him know clearly that your suspicion has not been lessened and see how he reacts. Interpersonal experiments are fun! :)

[bloodlikerain.livejournal.com]

run like hell?

[kali-ma.livejournal.com]

Well, it depends - why do you suspect they are lying to you? If you have strong evidence they are lying and they protest they are not, you are probably right to be suspicious.
In such a case I personally let it go for the moment but keep an eye out to discern the real situation.

[atdt1991.livejournal.com]

I would say, "Whether you have a reason has nothing to do with whether you are or are not lying."

Seriously. Pathological liars may have every reason NOT to lie, and still do.

[pgdudda.livejournal.com]

The line between making misleading statments and lying is a very fine one. If this was e.g. a job interview, I'd definitely say something to the effect of "misleading statements, even if technically true, may be construed as lies if they logically lead to inferences and conclusions that are false".

A coworker? I'd say "more importantly, you have every reason NOT to lie to me." (With an icy "watch me make your life hell if I discover you are lying" tone of voice.)

Socially? I'd avoid 'em like the plague; IMO, those who tell damaging lies should be shunned Amish-style. (Then again, I place high value on honesty. I'm weird that way.) Mind you, I'm not talking about "does this dress make me look fat?" lies. I'm talking about "I know you need the $1000 ASAP, the check's in the mail" lies.

[kittenkissies.livejournal.com]

Kick them in the balls, if they have them...
I see that as a smokescreen.