have you read the book by michael cunningham? although the movie is wonderfully done, i think the book is a little better. just by virtue that it was a book first i guess. that's usually how it works.
i dont know if you remember me, but i applied to poetryslamming a while ago and we talked for a little bit. i really value your opinions and your poetry, so i was wondering if you would take a look at something i just started working on. i want you to tear it apart. really. thanks.
p.s. sorry for taking so much room in your comment space
Torpid L[ies]
In stagnant eyes – a figure waits of blunder, calm. The curtains wail, it breaks.
Brought woven sheets to staggered planks with disbarred glass – newly sand – to pass a night.
Wrought hands with scars, squared and thin, and chipped remains.
Its lips rest silent, sharp at ease beneath a whisper – the vagrant sleeps.
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Date: 2003-12-02 10:10 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2003-12-04 10:25 am (UTC)i dont know if you remember me, but i applied to poetryslamming a while ago and we talked for a little bit. i really value your opinions and your poetry, so i was wondering if you would take a look at something i just started working on. i want you to tear it apart. really. thanks.
p.s. sorry for taking so much room in your comment space
Torpid L[ies]
In stagnant eyes – a figure
waits of blunder, calm.
The curtains wail,
it breaks.
Brought woven sheets
to staggered planks
with disbarred glass –
newly sand –
to pass a night.
Wrought hands with scars,
squared and thin,
and chipped remains.
Its lips rest silent,
sharp at ease
beneath a whisper –
the vagrant sleeps.