drinking oneself ill

I will never, ever do it again. I don't know how I did it in the first place.

I drank blackberry brandy last night, more than is sane. In fact, it was not until I went through all sorts of stomach unpleasantness that I realized exactly how much I indeed drank. I have to estimate that I polished off about one half of a standard bottle--325 mls of 30 proof alcohol. I don't know how I did it. And believe me, I regretted it. All day.

Four bouts of vomiting (sorry for TMI) were the highlights of my morning, the first of which roused me from my passed-out slumber. I couldn't even keep down a few sips of water. I couldn't sit up for too long; I couldn't lie down for too long. My stomach hurt so bad that even a sip of 7-Up caused me to go through five minutes of pain. The only things that brought some relief to my dry-heaving body were 1) music, and 2) Pepto-Bismol, which F was kind enough to run out in the cold night to purchase for me. I hate the taste of liquid pink, but it definitely did its job. Fifteen minutes after taking it, I was able to have soup and 7-Up.

Needless to say, I've learned a lesson. I realized today, I don't even like to drink, really. Why did I put myself through this misery? Never again. I'll have the occasional glass of wine with meals, but I'll stick to the holy herb.

picked up from bi_sex_ualcat :)

A Pure Thelemite Lies Beneath!

I took the Inner Thelemite online quiz and found out I am a Pure Thelemite on the inside. Pure Thelemites are innocent and trusting lot. They usually don't think of dark things. They are very eager to learn and also they usually teach. They are kinda a reluctant messiah.

"Also the mantras and spells; the obeah and the wanga; the work of the wand and the work of the sword; these he shall learn and teach. He must teach; but he may make severe the ordeals. The word of the Law is Thelema." Liber AL I:37,38,39.


Pure Thelemites are innocent, when they start out on the path. They are highly corruptable, and find it extremely hard not to turn into their mirror, the Shadow Thelemites. But in the end they come back to that heart center and reach the potential that they started out with.

"Lift up thyself! for there is none like unto thee among men or among Gods! Lift up thyself, o my prophet, they stature shall surpass the stars. They shall worship they name, foursquare, mystic, wonderful, the number of the man; and the name of thy hourse 418." Liber AL II:77,78.


Okay, so I'm just starting to find out information about Thelema. (I know exactly which friend I should contact. :) So, I don't know if any of this is true. I mean, my significant gem is amethyst and my favorite number is four, and this page didn't come up with either of those. So... maybe I don't know as much about myself as I think, or perhaps I'm just not Thelema.

Joseph Campbell, Creative Mythology: The Masks of God

"The wound in Christ's side, delivered by Longinus's spear, is a counterpart of that of the Maimed Fisher; also, the poisoned wound of Tristan. The crown of thorns is a counterpart of the Bodhisattva's turning wheel, and the Cross, of the wheel of Ixion. Christ's role as the Man of Sorrows, blood flowing from the nail wounds in his palms and feet, head dropped to one side, eyes closed, and blood streaming from that painful crown, corresponds to the Grail King in torture. In his other mode, however, as Christ the Logos, Triumphant (as True God), crucified yet without anguish, head erect, eyes open, outward gazing at the world of light, the nails there, but no sign of blood, he is the image of that immanent 'radiance' (claritas), 'thus come,' which hangs everywhere, as the world's joy-to-be-known, behind its battered face of torment. In his being, as in the Bodhisattva, there is ambrosia. He too descended into Hell: and though the credo of his church returned him to the sky, in his Bodhisattvahood he is still there--as Satan." (p. 425)

This passage reminds me of the climactic scene in The Devil's Advocate, when the Devil is revealed to actually be Christ. Thinking of them as two sides of the same coin is spiritually freeing (though I suspect most Christians would have serious problems with this religious worldview...).

more from Joe Campbell

"There is an astonishing fable in the Hindu Panchatantra, where an awesome reflection of the pain-bearing aspect of the Bodhisattva principle appears in a strange adventure that throws light on the meaning and background of the Maimed King of the Grail. It is of four friends, Brahmins, stricken with poverty, who determined to try to get rich. They set forth together and in the Avanti country met a magician named Terror-Joy, whom they asked for assistance. He gave to each a magic quill, with instructions to go north, to the northern slope of the Himalayas [i.e., to Buddhist Tibet]; and wherever a quill dropped, the owner would find treasure. The leader's quill dropped first, and they found the soil to be all copper. So he said, 'Look here! Take all you want!' But the others decided to go on. The first took his copper and turned back. Next the second leader's quill dropped; he dug, found silver, and was the second to return. The next quill yielded gold. 'Don't you see the point?' said the fourth. 'First copper, then silver, then gold. Beyond, there will surely be gems.' And he went on.

"And so this other went on alone. His limbs were scorched by the rays of the summer sun and his thoughts were confused by thirst as he wandered to and fro over the trails in the land of the fairies. At last, on a whirling platform, he saw a man with blood dripping down his body; for a wheel was whirling on his head. Then he made haste and said: 'Sir, why do you stand thus with a wheel whirling on your head? In any case, tell me if there is water anywhere. I am mad with thirst.'

"The moment the Brahmin said this, the wheel left the other's head and settled on his own. 'My very dear sir,' said he, 'what is the meaning of this?' 'In the very same way,' replied the other, 'it settled on my head.' 'But,' said the Brahmin, 'when will it go away? It hurts terribly.'

"And the fellow said: 'When someone who holds in his hand a magic quill, such as you had, arrives and speaks as you did, then it will settle on his head.' 'Well,' said the Brahmin, 'how long have you been here?' The other asked: 'Who is king in the world at present?' And on hearing the answer, 'King Vinabatsa,' he said: 'When Rama was king, I was poverty-stricken, procured a magic quill, and came here, just like you. And I saw another man with a wheel on his head and put a question to him. The moment I asked a question (just like you) the wheel left his head and settled on mine. But I cannot reckon the centuries.'

"Then the wheel-bearer asked: 'My dear sir, how, pray, did you get food while standing thus?' 'My dear sir,' said the fellow, 'the god of wealth [Kubera = Hades-Pluto], fearful lest his treasures be stolen, prepared this terror, so that no magician might come so far. And if any should succeed in coming, he was to be freed from hunger and thirst, preserved from decrepitude and death, and was merely to endure this torture. So now permit me to say farewell. You have set me free from a sizable misery. Now I am going home.' And he went."
--Creative Mythology, pp. 413-14.

Fear and Loathing

F and I are finally going to catch Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas on the big screen. It's playing at midnight tonight at the State Theater in Ann Arbor. It should be fun, especially if there's a good crowd. (Hopefully, we won't get lost on any one-way streets.)