Depends. Stay home and not work while single? Stay home and not work while raising small children? Stay home and not work while their kids are in school all day?
why did thy want to stay home? did they just not want a "job"? were they a full-time parent, a student, etc? are they poly? is someone who is not me supporting them? are they independently wealthy?
Depends entirely on what they want to do instead of work -- are they an artist, a poet, a writer? Are they raising small children? Are they fully engaged in a political or spiritual pursuit which leaves no time for paying work? If all they want is to stay home, watch tv, and eat bonbons whilst someone else supoports them, then no. But I've never met anyone like that.
I cannot think of a situation where I would date someone who wanted to stay at home and not work. Since I'm not poly, it'd be unlikely that I'd date someone who was being supported by a partner.
I also think it would be a big personality clash for me. I am extremely depressed when I do not have work and generally get bored if I have more than a week of inactivity. I think it would be difficult for me to relate to someone who wanted to stay home and not work.
On the other hand, I've occasionally wondered about child-rearing. I think I might be happier to go back to work shortly after giving birth, and leave the initial child-rearing to my partner, at least in part.
My definition of "work" includes being a freelance writer or artist of some kind or raising children. If the person didn't want to do any kind of work, including one of those things, I'd be unlikely to want to date him/her. Even if they had inherited wealth and didn't have to work to make a living, I'd hope they'd want to at least do some volunteer work.
Damn bob-bon eaters. They certainly exist, and usually portray themselves as an artist/writer/spiritualist who actually produces very little to no art, perhaps even pretty bad art. To be totally cruel, they often have a disability that you cannot perceive very well, like fatigue, or an unmedicatable depression or mental illnes because medication interferes with art/spirituality. Oh I've been there before. And the answer is NO, NEVER AGAIN. But its totally negotiable if you can clean without complaining about it, cook or raise kids or actually put hours into your art every day. I suppose if you develop a disability after I'm already committed to you I'd also make an exception, for a while. But you have to do something eventually. For the record, I'd like to try running a household raising kids as my primary occupation. It'd be nice to have a managed household. Really nice.
Only in a triad or a quad, if they really were going to be a homemaker and handle cooking and cleaning really well. Or with a lot of kids, but I'm leaning toward sticking with just the one kid.
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novapsyche) wrote2006-09-19 11:54 pm
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All of these have different answers.
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why did thy want to stay home? did they just not want a "job"? were they a full-time parent, a student, etc?
are they poly? is someone who is not me supporting them? are they independently wealthy?
i know, yes or no type.
definite maybe.
(this is what you get at bedtime).
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Agreed.
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I also think it would be a big personality clash for me. I am extremely depressed when I do not have work and generally get bored if I have more than a week of inactivity. I think it would be difficult for me to relate to someone who wanted to stay home and not work.
On the other hand, I've occasionally wondered about child-rearing. I think I might be happier to go back to work shortly after giving birth, and leave the initial child-rearing to my partner, at least in part.
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Loaded question
For the record, I'd like to try running a household raising kids as my primary occupation. It'd be nice to have a managed household. Really nice.
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